100 Things That Won’t Get you Hot and Sexy in 2016

This is a rant.

Every January you get slammed with 800 different fitness tactics, products, supplements, and programs.

When I was just starting my career in fitness I bought all of it. Literally – I wasted a lot of money! It’s time to end the cycle – Don’t buy or spend another penny on crap products/services/whatever.

I don’t bad mouth fitness programs, because there’s enough infighting out there. But this is my reputation on the line – if someone has a bad experience when starting a fitness program that’s how they’re going to see the whole profession.

Here are all of the ones that won’t work, and the ones that piss me off (because they don’t work and because I take personal offense)

1. At Home DvD’s sold to you by your Friends

At home DVDs are inherently flawed for a lot of reasons. It’s the same workout over and over again, you get no feed back, it’s not customized for you, and the “coaches” selling it to you don’t have any training in fitness or nutrition.

It bothers me more than almost anything. I take pride in being a coach, and rando’s taking that title for themselves is bs.

2. Supplements sold to you by your friends

Supplements companies are crazy. Most of them put illegal crap in them (that’s not hyperbole either), and one way to spread the product is to have untrained or minimally trained people rep a product.

I’m not trying to say that all companies who sell in stores are on the up and up, while all products sold via MLM (multi-level marketing) are crappy. Buying supplements from a pimpled teenager at the local GNC isn’t a good idea either.

If you’re going to stick a highly refined, and potent supplement in your body you should make sure that the person selling it to you knows what they’re talking about.

3. Any coach or “Trainer” who stands around and yells at you

Yelling is the weak coaches way out. Screaming and yelling makes you look tough, it makes people feel like you know what you’re doing, but all it does is mask the coaches insecurity.

The person who instructs you in fitness should have more tools in their belt than looking hard and screaming.

4. Diets

They suck.
Going on and off diets leads to failure, fatness, and boring food.

Instead eat the Warrior 20, eat bomb food, and look great.

 

5. Nutrition “Clubs”

These systems work great!

Well, they work great until you stop.

Anything that involves points, special meals you have to buy from the company, or crazy restrictions and meetings.

The way these clubs work is by drastically reducing your calorie intake and food choices. No fun and not sustainable.

6. “You-only-have-to-do-this” workouts

This might be touchy, because the people who love these workouts LOVE these workouts.

You should get wary if someone tells you that only one thing is the key to success, like..

All KB all the Time
All Sandbags all the time
All body weight

etc.

You coach should have a training philosophy, something that guides their training protocols, but it shouldn’t be based in a single piece of equipment.

Kettlebells, sandbags, barbells, reformers, etc. They’re all tools in our training tool belt, but they don’t dictate how to train.

Our philosophy is simple: Lift Heavy and Sprint

We stay true to that simple statement using almost any tool.

7. Puking

This is your body’s way of telling you something – not that you’re super cool and you should get high fives in-between heaving – it’s telling you that you did too much!

Puking is your body’s way of signaling you that there is something terribly wrong and you should stop immediately.

Plus it’s gross.

Puking is gross.

8. Hard For Hard’s sake

This kind of goes a long with the puking philosophy, but it’s a little more detailed.

Here’s how the thinking goes, if they workout is hard, I must be getting better, therefore if it’s really hard I should get really better.

That’s a little like saying going through the door gets me outside, but you know what will get me outside better? SMASHING THROUGH THE WALL WITH A HAMMER

Hard isn’t better, better is better.

Don’t judge your workouts by the difficulty, judge them by the results the produce.

Oh, and you should still work really hard.

9. Easy Workouts

“So this guy at my gym told me that all I need to do is 20 squats every minute for 4 minutes, then walk on the treadmill for an hour and I’ll get lean”

No

You still have to sweat, work, and put in more effort than you thought to get lean and sexy.

10. New workouts – just because they’re new

When you go to the Dr. you want her to have gone to Dr. school, know the tried and true methods, and have seen them in practice. If there’s an experimental procedure they want you to try you know it’s more risky and you have to sign a lot of paper work. The newest procedures are the most dangerous

Why is it then when it comes to fitness we want the newest – and therefore least tested method?

Sure it might look cool, but just because it’s new and cool doesn’t make it good.

Kipping handstand pushing while balancing bowling pins on your feat might look cool, but it has a lot higher chance of breaking you than a regular push up does.

11. Exercise Frankensteins

When you choose to go on an airplane do you get off halfway through the flight because you see another plane flying and think that it’s probably going to a cooler location? If you did that you would a. Die and b. never get to where you wanted to go.

When you choose one program, then change programs after a week, then change programs again you end up with a frankenstein. Or, less eloquently put, poop soup. A little of this, a little of that, 14 of these and 9 of those.

It doesn’t make sense!

A well written training program builds on itself and helps you get stronger in specific areas, burn more fat, and prevent injuries.

12. The Rock’s latest workout

The Rock is a beast, Kate Hudson and Jennifer Lawrence are hot and the latest copy of your favorite magazine has posted their top secret workouts.

With mag in hand – it’s time to get to the gym.

Here’s a secret – Kate, J-Law, and the Rock – they probably never did that workout once. Those workouts are written by a trainer who might be vaguely related to someone who once knew the Rock.

Celebrity magazine workouts are loosely based in reality and usually contain some of the coolest looking moves.

13. Ridiculous crap

Prancercise
Sauna Suits
The horse rider
Upside down kipping anything

 

If you think it look ridiculous, it is

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day getting lean in 2016 can be confusing.

If you’re really serious about looking good, getting stronger, and feeling good here are the three steps you need to follow

  1. Get a coach
  2. Lift heavy and sprint
  3. Eat the Warrior 20

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